The negative images, the vicious thoughts, the instant Karma I am wishing on the person who has wronged me... must be fought back. I truly wish no harm to befall her. I simply want out! I pray for a simple solution so that I may go on with my world, unscathed but experientially richer & better for it.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
To Escape...
No matter how hard I try to escape myself in times of trouble I often find all options closed off or simply not there. Every person I attempt to call so that I may vent or get validation from is unavailable. The ones I call to distract me are already occupied. As frustrating as it may seem, I know that I am meant to sit with whatever I am experiencing so that I may learn from it.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Quotes and thoughts to go along with them...
Over the years I have kept a little collection of my favorite quotes. Words, that when linked together create such depth, can provoke an astounding state of introspection for me. And, I will share some of them with you...
Abraham Lincoln once said, "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power".
Just look at the world in which we live and you will see the immense truth in that saying. Look at our White House, look at our pro-athletes, our surgeons, look at our managers, our parents,... look at ourselves! Have you ever found yourself in a position of power where you did not use that power for good, or deployed slight manipulations to see the outcome you had hoped for? How does your character, my character stand up under the temptations that go along with being in control? Talk about an opportunity to introspect & reflect on our own personal behaviors so that we may make a change for the positive!
"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough". Frank Crane
In our society, with our media relentlessly blaring the indiscretions, crimes, travesties that are constantly occurring, it is extremely hard for me to trust. However, each and every time I find myself 'victim' to someone else's poor judgment or character flaws I do my absolute best to understand that it is not my problem. The only way for me to be the 'victim' is if I allow it to be so. Although I have found myself starting down a jaded path several times, I simply call to my spirit guides to redirect me. Thank the Universe for wonderful guides, both of this world and the spirit world. Without them I would surely be unable to offer up the benefit of the doubt. Even if the ones who I do give that benefit to do not deserve it, all I can be responsible and grateful for is the fact that I can extend it.
This leads into another great saying... "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me"!
You can turn the other cheek, it does not mean that you must remain within slapping distance! (wow, that's one I am proud to have come up with!) To accept another is to recognize their limitations & to know that they are those as well as the good traits. Truly loving someone with out condition requires that you love them with the good & the bad! So, know what people are capable of & what they are unable to do then set them up for success!
If a man is walking down the street while you are hanging a sign and are in need of a hammer but the man does not have a hammer nor does he have the skill to use one, is he at fault?
We can only ask for what someone has to offer! If we ask for more then we are to blame if we are let down.
"I know there is a happy medium because I see it everytime I swing past"! Unknown
Boy, is that not the story of my life! :-) Finding that 'happy medium' is my personal goal in most things. Maybe that shows me to be passion-less but to be honest, I feel if I have a strong passion for one thing & one thing only, it limits my experiences to just that one thing! I love many things but do not get tunnel vision. I wish to explore many things & have done so in the course of my 38 years. I wish to continue!
Ciao for now,
Artie
Abraham Lincoln once said, "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power".
Just look at the world in which we live and you will see the immense truth in that saying. Look at our White House, look at our pro-athletes, our surgeons, look at our managers, our parents,... look at ourselves! Have you ever found yourself in a position of power where you did not use that power for good, or deployed slight manipulations to see the outcome you had hoped for? How does your character, my character stand up under the temptations that go along with being in control? Talk about an opportunity to introspect & reflect on our own personal behaviors so that we may make a change for the positive!
"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough". Frank Crane
In our society, with our media relentlessly blaring the indiscretions, crimes, travesties that are constantly occurring, it is extremely hard for me to trust. However, each and every time I find myself 'victim' to someone else's poor judgment or character flaws I do my absolute best to understand that it is not my problem. The only way for me to be the 'victim' is if I allow it to be so. Although I have found myself starting down a jaded path several times, I simply call to my spirit guides to redirect me. Thank the Universe for wonderful guides, both of this world and the spirit world. Without them I would surely be unable to offer up the benefit of the doubt. Even if the ones who I do give that benefit to do not deserve it, all I can be responsible and grateful for is the fact that I can extend it.
This leads into another great saying... "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me"!
You can turn the other cheek, it does not mean that you must remain within slapping distance! (wow, that's one I am proud to have come up with!) To accept another is to recognize their limitations & to know that they are those as well as the good traits. Truly loving someone with out condition requires that you love them with the good & the bad! So, know what people are capable of & what they are unable to do then set them up for success!
If a man is walking down the street while you are hanging a sign and are in need of a hammer but the man does not have a hammer nor does he have the skill to use one, is he at fault?
We can only ask for what someone has to offer! If we ask for more then we are to blame if we are let down.
"I know there is a happy medium because I see it everytime I swing past"! Unknown
Boy, is that not the story of my life! :-) Finding that 'happy medium' is my personal goal in most things. Maybe that shows me to be passion-less but to be honest, I feel if I have a strong passion for one thing & one thing only, it limits my experiences to just that one thing! I love many things but do not get tunnel vision. I wish to explore many things & have done so in the course of my 38 years. I wish to continue!
Ciao for now,
Artie
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Death with Dignity
Tomorrow is a day for contemplation & sadness. A man that I have met only once but knew to be a very gregarious, kind, talented man in just that one meeting will be choosing to die at the hands of a doctor under the 'Death with Dignity' act.
Mark is the stepfather of a close friend & is suffering from cancer. There are tumors in his brain and cancer throughout his body. He has been on the decline for months, finding himself in a pain constantly that medicine cannot calm and in need of assistance for all of what function he has left. Mark's wife, my friend's mother, has been by his side so faithfully, always showing such strength.
I received the call from my friend last night. Mark has decided that tomorrow is the day. He is done! He has fought, has suffered, and has felt like a burden I am sure. Now he is ready to let his body go, releasing all others to go on with their lives.
I do not have a history knowing Mark over years, months or weeks. Just days. I am quite certain that I was the last person he did ever or will ever play 'Happy Birthday' on his piano & sing for. I truly feel honored.
I knew he was ill when I visited my friend at his family's beach house. It was the day after my birthday and my friend wanted me to meet his father and mother. He had invited me down knowing that Mark's health would not last for long.
As I walked into the house Chris, mother and wife, was waiting to greet me. A teacher who loves her work and gained knowledge herself at every chance my first impression of Chris was one of sweetness surrounding life experience. Chris then helped Mark come down stairs. Mark appeared to be a very gentle and fragile man. He was walking slowly across the room as if each step had to be placed just so yet Mark perked up instantly at the sight of a new visitor. When he found out that my birthday had just occurred he moved as quickly as he could to his piano bench and called for the birthday song. His fingers and his voice were so lively moving over the notes of the tune, especially for an actively dying man full of pain.
It was hard for me to sleep that night. I could not help but to think of the man dying so close to me. People come into and out of our lives always. Some we never see or hear of again. Most of the time we just assume that those we know nothing more of continue living a full and healthy life. That is the optimistic part of our spirits. But what about when you meet such a wonderful soul knowing that his life is closer to it's end then it is to the last spring he enjoyed? This was a situation that I had no experience with, no basis on how to react or what emotions to feel. My heart ached.
The second night of my visit Mark, Chris, Ky and I went out to eat in a quaint restaurant. We enjoyed the food, the wine, the view and the conversation. After dinner we drove the scenic route back to their home stopping to take in the sunset. I could not help but to watch as Chris and Mark walked hand in hand in a direction that would give them privacy. How hard must it be for Chris to know that every moment with Mark brings them closer to an end much quicker then it seems natural. How can Mark look at Chris with out shedding tears.
Sunday was my last day at the coast. Mark was too unwell to come down so I had to say my good byes at a distance. I was hesitant to leave. I would have liked to stayed to help around the house.
Now I am here mourning a man who is not yet dead, whom I have not had the opportunity to know well.
On one hand I admire Mark's strength but I do not envy his decision. Could you plan your own death? A very noble act that I would like to think I was capable of doing in such a situation. I hope that I would be able to show such courage. On a day to day basis I feel my faith is strong. I find comfort in my beliefs feeling that this Earth is simply the school house for our Soul. Once our lessons have been learned and we have taken our part in the lessons of others we can leave our body to be recycled into the soil while our spirit moves on to the next life. Death is never permanent.
I sometimes fantasize about the possibilities for the next life. However, I am so happy in this life that I can't bring myself to regret my past or attempt to forecast what is to come. But to decide when and how to end my existence when, in theory I should have more time... I can't imagine how that must feel.
All that I can do is send up prayers for the spirit that will be departing our realm tomorrow to find it's way. The living who remain will heal from this.
As for Mark's mother... this will be her second son that she has lost to cancer. She has even lost her husband to the same. May she find her peace!
Mark is the stepfather of a close friend & is suffering from cancer. There are tumors in his brain and cancer throughout his body. He has been on the decline for months, finding himself in a pain constantly that medicine cannot calm and in need of assistance for all of what function he has left. Mark's wife, my friend's mother, has been by his side so faithfully, always showing such strength.
I received the call from my friend last night. Mark has decided that tomorrow is the day. He is done! He has fought, has suffered, and has felt like a burden I am sure. Now he is ready to let his body go, releasing all others to go on with their lives.
I do not have a history knowing Mark over years, months or weeks. Just days. I am quite certain that I was the last person he did ever or will ever play 'Happy Birthday' on his piano & sing for. I truly feel honored.
I knew he was ill when I visited my friend at his family's beach house. It was the day after my birthday and my friend wanted me to meet his father and mother. He had invited me down knowing that Mark's health would not last for long.
As I walked into the house Chris, mother and wife, was waiting to greet me. A teacher who loves her work and gained knowledge herself at every chance my first impression of Chris was one of sweetness surrounding life experience. Chris then helped Mark come down stairs. Mark appeared to be a very gentle and fragile man. He was walking slowly across the room as if each step had to be placed just so yet Mark perked up instantly at the sight of a new visitor. When he found out that my birthday had just occurred he moved as quickly as he could to his piano bench and called for the birthday song. His fingers and his voice were so lively moving over the notes of the tune, especially for an actively dying man full of pain.
It was hard for me to sleep that night. I could not help but to think of the man dying so close to me. People come into and out of our lives always. Some we never see or hear of again. Most of the time we just assume that those we know nothing more of continue living a full and healthy life. That is the optimistic part of our spirits. But what about when you meet such a wonderful soul knowing that his life is closer to it's end then it is to the last spring he enjoyed? This was a situation that I had no experience with, no basis on how to react or what emotions to feel. My heart ached.
The second night of my visit Mark, Chris, Ky and I went out to eat in a quaint restaurant. We enjoyed the food, the wine, the view and the conversation. After dinner we drove the scenic route back to their home stopping to take in the sunset. I could not help but to watch as Chris and Mark walked hand in hand in a direction that would give them privacy. How hard must it be for Chris to know that every moment with Mark brings them closer to an end much quicker then it seems natural. How can Mark look at Chris with out shedding tears.
Sunday was my last day at the coast. Mark was too unwell to come down so I had to say my good byes at a distance. I was hesitant to leave. I would have liked to stayed to help around the house.
Now I am here mourning a man who is not yet dead, whom I have not had the opportunity to know well.
On one hand I admire Mark's strength but I do not envy his decision. Could you plan your own death? A very noble act that I would like to think I was capable of doing in such a situation. I hope that I would be able to show such courage. On a day to day basis I feel my faith is strong. I find comfort in my beliefs feeling that this Earth is simply the school house for our Soul. Once our lessons have been learned and we have taken our part in the lessons of others we can leave our body to be recycled into the soil while our spirit moves on to the next life. Death is never permanent.
I sometimes fantasize about the possibilities for the next life. However, I am so happy in this life that I can't bring myself to regret my past or attempt to forecast what is to come. But to decide when and how to end my existence when, in theory I should have more time... I can't imagine how that must feel.
All that I can do is send up prayers for the spirit that will be departing our realm tomorrow to find it's way. The living who remain will heal from this.
As for Mark's mother... this will be her second son that she has lost to cancer. She has even lost her husband to the same. May she find her peace!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
My Newest Thanksgiving Tradition...
Not that I have many Thanksgiving Day traditions... The TV did not even get turned on to show the Macy's big floaty balloons or the freezing cold celebrities!
I did gather with friends, share food and express gratitude, but not for the original reasons that the great turkey day was created. Who really continues to give thanks for the pilgrims landing at Plymouth Rock? And, if there are still those who do, how about all those Native American lives lost, traditions lost after they saved our ancestors from starvation. Is it politically correct to continue to celebrate the holiday for the reasons it was created or should we evolve our ideals to recognize what really happened and show gratitude surrounded by humility for the devastation our ancestors caused the ones who lived on this land that we now inhabit.
As for the new way to celebrate...
This year, on Friday after the feast, Christian and I drove 5 hours to the Olympic Peninsula where we stayed on the Quileute reservation for two nights. So, from now on it is my hopes to show some support for the Natives Americans for my Thanksgiving Day celebrations.
I will say that it was quite a relaxing time on the reservation. Very quiet! It was a small 'camper cabin' that we stayed in complete with a wood burning stove, a fridge, a table, a double bed, small bathroom with no shower or hot water, a kitchenette &, Christian's favorite feature, a loft with 3 twin mattresses. We were just steps away from the ocean, the beach lining it covered in beautiful driftwood. Unfortunately it was too overcast to really see the horizon yet it was amazing none the less.
We did not have too much time so we left without getting much interaction with tribe members. There was this one young lady, however, who worked at the desk in the 'resort' office. (The word 'resort' does not accurately describe the lodgings as far as American standards but that is what the called it) This woman had spent many years off the reservation at boarding school in Salem but recently moved back to live with her grandfather. She briefly explained to me that she used to drum but has hung up her drum and no longer plays.
The Quileutes are the oldest known tribe of the Pacific Northwest with lineage dating back to the ice age. Due to the remote location & the 115+ inches of annual rainfall, the Quileutes were never forced to leave their lands. Both facts I found very intersesting! They were great hunters of whales & other sea mammals. Their canoe design was mimicked in the design of the modern Clipper Ship hull. A Quileute canoe was even fitted with a mast and sail then sailed around the world. How cool?!
I hope to go back so that I may get to know more of the Quileute culture but most importantly, I would love to do a part, no matter how small, to support a people who is part of a disappearing society.
I did gather with friends, share food and express gratitude, but not for the original reasons that the great turkey day was created. Who really continues to give thanks for the pilgrims landing at Plymouth Rock? And, if there are still those who do, how about all those Native American lives lost, traditions lost after they saved our ancestors from starvation. Is it politically correct to continue to celebrate the holiday for the reasons it was created or should we evolve our ideals to recognize what really happened and show gratitude surrounded by humility for the devastation our ancestors caused the ones who lived on this land that we now inhabit.
As for the new way to celebrate...
This year, on Friday after the feast, Christian and I drove 5 hours to the Olympic Peninsula where we stayed on the Quileute reservation for two nights. So, from now on it is my hopes to show some support for the Natives Americans for my Thanksgiving Day celebrations.
I will say that it was quite a relaxing time on the reservation. Very quiet! It was a small 'camper cabin' that we stayed in complete with a wood burning stove, a fridge, a table, a double bed, small bathroom with no shower or hot water, a kitchenette &, Christian's favorite feature, a loft with 3 twin mattresses. We were just steps away from the ocean, the beach lining it covered in beautiful driftwood. Unfortunately it was too overcast to really see the horizon yet it was amazing none the less.
We did not have too much time so we left without getting much interaction with tribe members. There was this one young lady, however, who worked at the desk in the 'resort' office. (The word 'resort' does not accurately describe the lodgings as far as American standards but that is what the called it) This woman had spent many years off the reservation at boarding school in Salem but recently moved back to live with her grandfather. She briefly explained to me that she used to drum but has hung up her drum and no longer plays.
The Quileutes are the oldest known tribe of the Pacific Northwest with lineage dating back to the ice age. Due to the remote location & the 115+ inches of annual rainfall, the Quileutes were never forced to leave their lands. Both facts I found very intersesting! They were great hunters of whales & other sea mammals. Their canoe design was mimicked in the design of the modern Clipper Ship hull. A Quileute canoe was even fitted with a mast and sail then sailed around the world. How cool?!
I hope to go back so that I may get to know more of the Quileute culture but most importantly, I would love to do a part, no matter how small, to support a people who is part of a disappearing society.
Friday, October 10, 2008
How quickly it could go...
Today I met a beautiful, 24 yr old woman named Miss L. Five years ago Miss L was a freshman at university. She made soaps & lotions, went snowboarding for the first time, and lived a gregarious life. She was on her way home when her car broke down and while sitting on the side of the road in her car awaiting help another car hit hers. Miss L suffered a traumatic brain injury that has incapacitated her.
Miss L is now a beautiful, crippled lady who must be cared for for the rest of her life. She can barely walk with assistance, she has difficulty speaking & must require the help from others to get dressed. Although this may seem like a horrible life to live, the amazing Miss L is always wearing a broad smile! She can sign 'I Love You' and does so often. Miss L is quick to let you know what you can do to make her happy then shows you how happy you have made her.
Appreciative, sweet, loving, and happy. We should all be that lucky!
Let us not require a horrible accident or traumatic illness to bring us to our peace and prosperity. Remember, success and happiness is all relative!
Miss L is now a beautiful, crippled lady who must be cared for for the rest of her life. She can barely walk with assistance, she has difficulty speaking & must require the help from others to get dressed. Although this may seem like a horrible life to live, the amazing Miss L is always wearing a broad smile! She can sign 'I Love You' and does so often. Miss L is quick to let you know what you can do to make her happy then shows you how happy you have made her.
Appreciative, sweet, loving, and happy. We should all be that lucky!
Let us not require a horrible accident or traumatic illness to bring us to our peace and prosperity. Remember, success and happiness is all relative!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
The Truth of Gratitude...
During his appointment with me this morning, my client began to show tears of gratitude for the blessings he has in his life. He was recounting to me his recent, very first experience swimming a race in San Francisco Bay, very appreciative that his body, after 60 + years, has brought him through that strenuous, intimidating event. He spoke of completing his first triathlon in his not too distant past. He then set about reflecting on his life in general, his children, his grandchildren, his friends... I was honored that he was sharing it all with me.
Mr. W is new to my practice. I find him to be a genuine, sweet, well spoken man. I don't know much about his world save for what I have already written, as well as the fact that he is retired and recently widowed. This man lying on my table has lost his wife to cancer just a year or so ago and is now finding himself so overwhelmed with joy. Despite his lost, he is grateful!
I am grateful! Grateful for clients who see me worthy of their trust!
Mr. W is new to my practice. I find him to be a genuine, sweet, well spoken man. I don't know much about his world save for what I have already written, as well as the fact that he is retired and recently widowed. This man lying on my table has lost his wife to cancer just a year or so ago and is now finding himself so overwhelmed with joy. Despite his lost, he is grateful!
I am grateful! Grateful for clients who see me worthy of their trust!
Princes into Frogs
So what does it mean when you think you have met a prince and, not too long after you get swept into the royal romance, he morphs back into the frog?
Well, let's take a good look at this! Every man comes up from a frog, just as every swan begins as the ugly duckling. Whether it's in the looks department or in the personality arena, we all grow from something less then we are now.
There is no judgment here. It's a simple fact that we are not born perfect... at least none that I have met. We all have some level of insecurity or, if not, some huge ego that we must conquer. The saying is we are our own worst critic therefore, to those of us with normal egos, we are imperfect! The unfortunate thing we tend to overlook is that so is everyone else on the planet!
It's not a matter of being perfect in the 'now' but it is allowing ourselves to be perfectly 'imperfect' yet constantly striving for better versions of ourselves. Physically we look to improve for the sake of being healthy and feeling comfortable in our society. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually we seek so that we can live a more fulfilling life. Looking for those spiritual upgrades, if you will.
However, the journey is always building in front of us... the real challenge is not to only to move forward on our path but to not slide back! A huge game of Chutes and Ladders! Trying desperately to avoid the backsliding chutes while moving forward in life.
Back to my prince who turned back into a slimy, green, unattractive frog...
You meet someone who you find appealing and then they tell you everything you wish to hear... what do you do? Well, if you are me, you get suckered into this alternate reality where you feel you may have finally found a handsome, tall, successful man who may actually relate to you and is looking to live a life similar to your dream. God does that sound desperate! But is it really?
I buy in! Before I know it there are life long plans for the future being made. I blindly begin offering assistance if he needs it, a place to stay while he transitions out of his old house, while he looks for a new one. Now this alone creates havoc in Christian's and my life due to the fact that we live in a very small space! But, for love, I do it. I welcome this man into my home, along with his two daughters every other weekend.
That's when he begins his regression. Now that he is in, his true colors begin to glow bright green! The respect fades, the future grows dim, the consideration of others disappears! It's been a mirage the whole time and I have exhausted myself, not to mention jeopardized my relationship with my son and his happiness, security, etc., running full force toward my perceived happy ending. My son knew better from the beginning. Don't they always!
I take responsibility for my part in the matter. But, am I really to blame for wanting to share my life with an adult male? Am I at fault for trusting a man to truly represent himself to me? I fully believe I deserve my happily ever after.
A wise and dear friend said to me once, " you always find the broken ones"! I believe now that she is right.
I can't be too angry at this man/boy for going after what he wanted & needed. We all do that! For him though, it's a complete lack of integrity, honor, and truth.
It is on me to require that a man actually prove his word by supporting it with actions. I am so over the 'talk' without seeing the 'walk'! I suppose that it all boils down to me honoring myself enough to not fall so quickly. It's like buying a lovely piece of furniture only to find it was made of particle board. It may be nice at the moment and serve a purpose but it's lasting quality leaves a great deal to be desired. Eventually you will wish that you had waited, saved up the money and invested in a durable, solid oak piece. Oh the sigh of regret at money, time, love ill spent!
Well, let's take a good look at this! Every man comes up from a frog, just as every swan begins as the ugly duckling. Whether it's in the looks department or in the personality arena, we all grow from something less then we are now.
There is no judgment here. It's a simple fact that we are not born perfect... at least none that I have met. We all have some level of insecurity or, if not, some huge ego that we must conquer. The saying is we are our own worst critic therefore, to those of us with normal egos, we are imperfect! The unfortunate thing we tend to overlook is that so is everyone else on the planet!
It's not a matter of being perfect in the 'now' but it is allowing ourselves to be perfectly 'imperfect' yet constantly striving for better versions of ourselves. Physically we look to improve for the sake of being healthy and feeling comfortable in our society. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually we seek so that we can live a more fulfilling life. Looking for those spiritual upgrades, if you will.
However, the journey is always building in front of us... the real challenge is not to only to move forward on our path but to not slide back! A huge game of Chutes and Ladders! Trying desperately to avoid the backsliding chutes while moving forward in life.
Back to my prince who turned back into a slimy, green, unattractive frog...
You meet someone who you find appealing and then they tell you everything you wish to hear... what do you do? Well, if you are me, you get suckered into this alternate reality where you feel you may have finally found a handsome, tall, successful man who may actually relate to you and is looking to live a life similar to your dream. God does that sound desperate! But is it really?
I buy in! Before I know it there are life long plans for the future being made. I blindly begin offering assistance if he needs it, a place to stay while he transitions out of his old house, while he looks for a new one. Now this alone creates havoc in Christian's and my life due to the fact that we live in a very small space! But, for love, I do it. I welcome this man into my home, along with his two daughters every other weekend.
That's when he begins his regression. Now that he is in, his true colors begin to glow bright green! The respect fades, the future grows dim, the consideration of others disappears! It's been a mirage the whole time and I have exhausted myself, not to mention jeopardized my relationship with my son and his happiness, security, etc., running full force toward my perceived happy ending. My son knew better from the beginning. Don't they always!
I take responsibility for my part in the matter. But, am I really to blame for wanting to share my life with an adult male? Am I at fault for trusting a man to truly represent himself to me? I fully believe I deserve my happily ever after.
A wise and dear friend said to me once, " you always find the broken ones"! I believe now that she is right.
I can't be too angry at this man/boy for going after what he wanted & needed. We all do that! For him though, it's a complete lack of integrity, honor, and truth.
It is on me to require that a man actually prove his word by supporting it with actions. I am so over the 'talk' without seeing the 'walk'! I suppose that it all boils down to me honoring myself enough to not fall so quickly. It's like buying a lovely piece of furniture only to find it was made of particle board. It may be nice at the moment and serve a purpose but it's lasting quality leaves a great deal to be desired. Eventually you will wish that you had waited, saved up the money and invested in a durable, solid oak piece. Oh the sigh of regret at money, time, love ill spent!
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