Princes into Frogs

So what does it mean when you think you have met a prince and, not too long after you get swept into the royal romance, he morphs back into the frog?

Well, let's take a good look at this! Every man comes up from a frog, just as every swan begins as the ugly duckling. Whether it's in the looks department or in the personality arena, we all grow from something less then we are now.

There is no judgment here. It's a simple fact that we are not born perfect... at least none that I have met. We all have some level of insecurity or, if not, some huge ego that we must conquer. The saying is we are our own worst critic therefore, to those of us with normal egos, we are imperfect! The unfortunate thing we tend to overlook is that so is everyone else on the planet!

It's not a matter of being perfect in the 'now' but it is allowing ourselves to be perfectly 'imperfect' yet constantly striving for better versions of ourselves. Physically we look to improve for the sake of being healthy and feeling comfortable in our society. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually we seek so that we can live a more fulfilling life. Looking for those spiritual upgrades, if you will.

However, the journey is always building in front of us... the real challenge is not to only to move forward on our path but to not slide back! A huge game of Chutes and Ladders! Trying desperately to avoid the backsliding chutes while moving forward in life.

Back to my prince who turned back into a slimy, green, unattractive frog...

You meet someone who you find appealing and then they tell you everything you wish to hear... what do you do? Well, if you are me, you get suckered into this alternate reality where you feel you may have finally found a handsome, tall, successful man who may actually relate to you and is looking to live a life similar to your dream. God does that sound desperate! But is it really?

I buy in! Before I know it there are life long plans for the future being made. I blindly begin offering assistance if he needs it, a place to stay while he transitions out of his old house, while he looks for a new one. Now this alone creates havoc in Christian's and my life due to the fact that we live in a very small space! But, for love, I do it. I welcome this man into my home, along with his two daughters every other weekend.

That's when he begins his regression. Now that he is in, his true colors begin to glow bright green! The respect fades, the future grows dim, the consideration of others disappears! It's been a mirage the whole time and I have exhausted myself, not to mention jeopardized my relationship with my son and his happiness, security, etc., running full force toward my perceived happy ending. My son knew better from the beginning. Don't they always!

I take responsibility for my part in the matter. But, am I really to blame for wanting to share my life with an adult male? Am I at fault for trusting a man to truly represent himself to me? I fully believe I deserve my happily ever after.

A wise and dear friend said to me once, " you always find the broken ones"! I believe now that she is right.

I can't be too angry at this man/boy for going after what he wanted & needed. We all do that! For him though, it's a complete lack of integrity, honor, and truth.

It is on me to require that a man actually prove his word by supporting it with actions. I am so over the 'talk' without seeing the 'walk'! I suppose that it all boils down to me honoring myself enough to not fall so quickly. It's like buying a lovely piece of furniture only to find it was made of particle board. It may be nice at the moment and serve a purpose but it's lasting quality leaves a great deal to be desired. Eventually you will wish that you had waited, saved up the money and invested in a durable, solid oak piece. Oh the sigh of regret at money, time, love ill spent!